Increase Professional Sustainability with Self-Compassion
While leading a healing group for women escaping abusive relationships, there was a young woman curled up in a corner afraid to look around. In seeing such deep suffering my heart went out to her with a desire to help alleviate the pain. This recognition of suffering accompanied by a desire to help is compassion. At its foundation compassion says, “You are worth caring about” and builds connection because it relies on our common experience of suffering.
We all know compassion is important when working in a helping profession, because it motivates us to help others with kindness. The combination of compassion and professional competency are a powerful mix that can substantially change people’s lives. They are also emotionally, spiritually and physically draining. This is why self-compassion is a critical component for career sustainability.
Self-compassion involves recognizing when we are hurting then responding with care. It does not mean overlooking what needs to be dealt with or over focusing on pain. Living with compassion for ourselves involves treating ourselves with kindness, recognizing our shared humanity and practicing mindful awareness of experiences (Neff, 2011). While having compassion for others often comes easily, we often have to be intentional about responding in such a way to ourselves, but it is worth the effort.
Sharing compassion with ourselves provides the healing space and courage needed for growth. Self-compassion does not magically make difficult emotions go away, but gives us strength to move forward while allowing openness to new possibilities. The resulting revitalization promotes career sustainability and the ability to thrive while helping others. So the next time you are struggling remind yourself “I am worth caring about.” This can give you the strength to tackle problems, work towards high expectations in healthier ways and reduce burnout.
Some things you can do to promote self-compassion:
Write down how you would show care for a friend who is struggling with the challenges you are facing. Follow through on offering that care to yourself.
Routinely practice compassion meditations or prayers
Figure out a replacement statement to turn to when you start to go into a negative mental narrative berating yourself. For example, when you start to go into the “You are such an idiot!” stop yourself by saying something more positive and caring such as, “I am human and worth caring about. I can deal with this.”
Get perspective and help from a trusted friend, colleague, and/or a caring professional.
Learn about mindful self-compassion. A helpful resource is “The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself” by Kristin Neff (2011; HarperCollins).